hmmm… its been awhile since i last blogged. well as usual been very busy with all sorts of stuffs ( i wonder when will it end ) At first, i thought long distance relationship doesn’t work at all. It’s like why settle for this kind of relationship when you can have a better one? Do not mistake love for hunger for affection, or loneliness, or even lust. You may think it is love, but it often is not. But yea, when i heard Katie’s story… to me it seems very challenging and difficult but not impossible at all. Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other’s lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship. The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you. Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully. Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make your partner a part of your life. It is essential that you receive the same information from your partner as well, so you both feel the same security and satisfaction that you both crave. Yeah, it challenging, difficult and yet its fun? i guess? Impossible? Nah! |
Artist : New Radicals I feel good today woohoo!!! maybe had too much happy pill last night? nah!!! anyways feel free to burn my bandwidth |
Ok… now lets talk about lies, lying and liars. There are several types of lies. 1. Bald-faced lie - A bald-faced (or barefaced) lie is a lie that is told when it is obvious to all concerned that it is a lie. For example, a child who has chocolate all over his face and denies that he has eaten the last piece of chocolate cake, is a bald-faced liar. 2. Lying by omission One lies by omission by omitting an important fact, deliberately leaving another person with a misconception. Lying by omission includes failures to correct pre-existing misconceptions. 3. White lie A white lie would cause no discord if it were uncovered and offers some benefit to the liar, the hearer, or both. White lies are often used to avoid offense, such as telling someone that you think that their new outfit looks good when you actually think that it is a horrible excuse for an outfit. In this case, the lie is told to avoid the harmful implications and realistic implications of the truth. As a concept, it is largely defined by local custom and cannot be clearly separated from regular lies with any authority. As such, the term may have differing meanings in different cultures. Lies that are harmless but told for no reason are generally called white lies. 4. Noble lie A noble lie is one that would normally cause discord if it were uncovered, but that offers some benefit to the liar and perhaps assist in an orderly society and thus potentially gives some benefit to others also. It is often told to maintain law, order and safety. A noble lie usually has the effect of helping an elite maintain power. 5. Emergency lie 6. Perjury 7. Bluffing 8. Misleading 9. Dissembling 10. Exaggeration 11. Jocose lies 12. Promotion lies 13. Belief systems and so on. Lying is a technique that is used to influence, control and manipulate other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Lying comes naturally, and most of the time, it happens with little awareness, effort, or thought. In fact, children start lying, quite effectively, early in life. And as adults, people continue to lie. But why do people lie anyway? To avoid punishment? to seek approval? to maintain privacy? to avoid conflict? to regulate power? Why do people lie to get people to like them?. Does telling the truth would burden you? the other person or the situation? or they see it as advantageous somehow? I read a good book once on lying… There are many reasons why people lie, and here are just a few. Some of the basic reasons are : 1. To appease another person 2. To attempt to make our life better 3. To hurt another person emotionally 4. To manipulate a circumstance, or person 5. To hide a truth. Anyway, don’t you hate it when someone you trust lied to you? especially when it comes to a relationship. We all know that when it comes to romantic relationships are not always as straightforward as we would like them to be. From time to time, our intimate relationships can become complicated and complex - full of contradictions and inconsistencies. When it comes to love, marriage and friendship… people expect the other half to be completely honest. As it stands, our close relationships involve a lot of truth telling as well as some dishonesty. If love was straightforward and unchanging, that would be easy to acknowledge. But, when you take a close look at the nature of love and romance, one thing becomes clear: Love creates both happiness and heartache, opportunities and constraints, joy and sorrow. Not only can our close relationships sometimes cause heartache and anxiety, but it’s also difficult to discuss lying and cheating out in the open. When you mention the possibility that love and betrayal might go hand-in-hand, people tend to get angry or they become defensive. Question is.. when is the right time to confront that person and discuss the situation even if you’re 75% aware that he or she just gonna deny it and stand up to his words. Is it possible that your relationship survive his or her lies? Relationships which include lies can survive but only if one partner is so desperate to hang on that she is willing to discount her own feelings and self-esteem. Bottom line… people who tell their partners lies are so insecure about themselves that they often do things which they’re not willing to explain. Lies are only their first line of defense. Further defenses may include cutting off completely, perhaps vanishing for a while or forever. The first person whom a liar distrusts is himself / herself, and let’s face it, he knows himself / herself better than you do. |





